yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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