I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
