If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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