how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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