she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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