why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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