You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
