I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
