Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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