hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
