You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize