the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Alive.
So much puke
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
