haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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