apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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