Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize