what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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