I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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