I like to think it a success when the cops are called
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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