lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
