Jerry, you need to find god
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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