Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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