Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
