I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
