dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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