im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
