her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
