he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
