How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
