may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
