Where is the hickey?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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