Don't you send me to vm
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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