she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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