everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
MIDGETS
????
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
