what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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