new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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