I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize