dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
