He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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