someone threw a dead crab at me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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