Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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