Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
