I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
