That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
