He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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