8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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