Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
