I need help removing her.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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