All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
