sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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