I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
