I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
