I wannas sexs uuuuu
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
