Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
