'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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