Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Drake has all the answers
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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