i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
