You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
