I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Hippo gnu deer
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
