just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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