it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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