Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
