i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
