$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
