Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize