Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
