i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
