I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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