Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
pray to the hookup gods
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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