Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
did i just pee glitter
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
