The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize