So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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