What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
that's an acceptable place to lick
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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