Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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