I think I died a long time ago.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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