he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
