how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He shit in the fireplace
there is puke in my bra ... again
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