we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
